Eleven Songs
by Inkaugneato
Summary: 11 songs with USUK scenes for each. Meme. Warnings: Cursing, suggestive material, guy love. Complete
1. Chapter 1

_Please pardon my GOD AWFUL writing... It's been a long time since I've written anything and so I'm probably really rough. I'm kind of using this as a warm-up practice I suppose? _

_Also please pardon any grammatical or punctuation errors. I did not re-read through this so I apologize for the mistakes.  
_

_Music Meme Rules  
1. Put your music player (iPod, MP3, Windows Media Player, etc.) on "shuffle"_  
_2. While the first song plays, write what comes to mind. When the song ends, STOP (You may finish the sentence you're on)_  
_3. Repeat with the next song, until you've written ten stories or story fragments for ten songs_

**Easy - Barenaked Ladies**

Arthur glanced back behind him, making sure to turn on the signal and merged into the lane next to him. He couldn't believe it. Not again. Not this time. If this is how things were going to go then Arthur needed to take the risk and move on.

He pulled into the driveway after another thoughtful twenty minutes of driving. It was dark there, and he shivered as he exited the car. He could see him at the window, though, and had half a mind to get right back into the car and drive away. He could just forgive him, again... It would make things easier, definitely, but then he thought of Alfred.

Alfred. Alfred. Alfred-

The door opened to reveal the wavy-blonde hair falling and framing a rather apologetic face. A rather fake apologetic face. Arthur had seen this before. Knew the drill.

Not again. Not this time.

"Angleterre... listen-"

"No, Francis, you listen. I may have loved you, but not anymore. I'm tired of you blowing me off at the last second when we have plans, or- or you not showing up at all! Do you know how that feels? NO, I suppose you wouldn't, would you? Because I've always been there, I've always shown up, I've been waiting. But... I'm tired of you manipulating me this way. And so, as easy as it was to love you, it's now going to be as easy to leave you."

"Angleterre... please, let me make it up to you, I promise...!"

Arthur shook his head.

**Good Times Gonna Come - Aqualung**

"How many..." Sip. Sip. "More...?" Sip. "Ohhh... fuck."

He tossed the nearly empty bottle on the bed, the alcohol pouring out and settling into the sheets. The hotel workers would be pissed. Well fuck them he was pissed too. He was pissed when he stumbled over to find another bottle, pissed when he struggled to open it. "Aw fuck it.."

He stood in the dark of the hotel room and stared over at the window wall.

It seemed like the next moment he was standing by the railing, looking down on the city. It was beautiful, and the wintry winds were helping clear his head. He looked up, head spinning as the sun swirled up into the sky. He knew he'd have to start preparing himself for another day. Another walk into that conference room... another... fuck it.

He'd done so much for HIM, done so much and now what did he have? He certainly didn't have HIM anymore. What did he...?

Well, for starters...For starters... what the fuck was wrong with him? He wasn't like this. He wasn't the small ant people crowding down on the streets. He was the hero. And hero's made sure everything was ALRIGHT.

Shit...

**You're Gonna Miss Me - Lulu and the Lampshades**

Alfred gave him a hard stare, like the strongest stare that he could muster up, hoping Arthur would feel like he was staring straight into his soul.

"You're...what?" Arthur muttered, looking flustered, confused...

"That's right. You heard me. And I'm just letting you know now that it's your choice, but if you choose not to then you're going to be missing out on a whole lot. I may not have all that much to offer but I promise, I swear to you that you will not regret it. You will regret, however, when I'm not there anymore."

"Yes."

Alfred stared, now the one dumbfounded.

"Yes, git."

A grin stretched across his face.

**Once Upon a Time in New York City - Huey Lewis**

Arthur sneezed.  
"Thirty-two," the guy next to him said, his sky-blue eyes transfixed on Arthur.  
The Brit glanced over.  
"Would you please stop counting?"  
"I can't help it, I've got nothing better to do. Besides, you look terrible," he said, a cheerful smile on his face.  
"Oh thank you... I suppose it's so hard to find something to do here in the hustle and bustle of New York..." Arthur mumbled.  
The man glanced over at him. "You're one to talk," he shot back. "You've been sitting here for a long time now. Why don't you go do something?"  
Arthur didn't respond... This guy was pissing him off, to be honest. He didn't feel well, his head spinning, his breaths shallow... It would take all of his energy just to get up and move. He closed his eyes.  
"Hey... hey, you... Aren't you going to say anything? Hey... hey...you're not dead, right?" The guy asked, a concerned-laced voice. He poked him.  
"Go away," Arthur snapped, getting upset. What the hell was wrong with him...?  
"What's gotten you all eaten up anyway?"  
Arthur slowly turned his head to look at him like the guy was insane. "Are you...serious? I'm all alone. I'm going to die because of a ridiculous cold."  
"Well you've got me..." The man grinned, scooting closer to Arthur and wrapping an arm around him.  
"Oh joy... what a happy ending."  
"And I'm not going to let you die..."

**With You - Chris Brown**

"I hate this..." Alfred whined into the phone, sinking down further into his couch.  
"I'm sorry-"  
"Don't apologize," Alfred cut him off. He could just picture him, the look on his face as he would have said that. It was maddening, drove him insane. He couldn't stand the thought of Arthur apologizing for something like this. "It's not your fault, boo."  
"Boo?"  
"I miss you so much."  
"Boo?" Arthur repeated.  
"Yeah, don't you like it? I think it's cute, just like you. You're the best thing ever-"  
"God you're so mushy."  
"You like it and you know it."  
The other end was silent, and Alfred listened anxiously.  
"Arthur?"  
"Yeah... I do," he said quietly.  
Alfred's heart raced.  
"And I wish I was with you right now," Arthur continued. "I wish we weren't so far apart... I want to see you, touch you... Bloody hell now listen to me, I'm getting all mushy too. This is your fault."  
Alfred slowly stood up. "Boo, say no more. I'm coming for you now. Stay where you are."  
"What! Al-"  
"No, this is YOUR fault now... Saying all that stuff. God I've got to see you... Man, I don't need anybody else but you."

**Hero - Enrique Iglesias**

Alfred took Arthur's hand, pulling him up off the bed.  
"Git...? W-what are you doing?" Arthur looked at the rather gorgeous and er- naked American in front of him, then realized he himself too was naked.  
"Dance?" Alfred asked, a hopeful smile on his face.  
Arthur blushed, but molded against Alfred as the American started swaying them back and forth. He met his eyes, searching them.  
"What brought all this on?" Arthur asked, as they swayed and moved in the tight space of the room, the moonlight dancing along with them  
"Arthur... I need to tell you something..."  
"What is it?"  
"You know... Gah..." He let go of Arthur's hand for a minute to run a hand through his hair, then took it back up. "Well... you know how I act like a hero all of the time?"  
Arthur nodded, confused as to where this was going.  
"Well... it's not just... I don't just do it... I mean, I do, but what I'm saying is I do it for you. I want to be YOUR hero... Kiss away your pain, be with you, by your side... You do this thing to me that no one else can... And I would be anything for you. And... that's what a hero is, right? And everybody loves the hero. Always chasing after them and I thought if I was like that then maybe you'd chase after me. Maybe you'd pay attention to me, want to be with me-"  
Arthur cut him off with a kiss.

**Once There Was the Sun - Thumbelina**

Arthur looked out the window, the tiny window. He looked around the small square room, sighing. He wanted to be free from this place... But who knew how long they'd keep him locked up here. Forever?  
He'd be alone... This dark place had started stripping away his sun... He missed him so much. The man that had made everything like the summer. And now he was alone. In a dark, small square room that had taken from him everything but his memories of his sun.

**The River - Missy Higgins**

Arthur couldn't take it anymore. He just couldn't stand another day, another second, another instance of being in that house. And so he ran and he didn't take anything with him. He didn't need anything where he was going.  
He was hoping the river would wash him far away. He was so tired... so... so gross. The smell of angry gin lingered on his clothing. He hoped the river would wash that away too.  
Even the numbness of his limbs from running didn't match to the chill of the river. It was icey, but he welcomed it as he sank into it's depths. He didn't even take it slowly, but immediately submerged, eyes wide.  
Everything was dark as he floated, everything was beautiful as the current pulled him away. He thought briefly at how his empty bed would be found by an angry brother. And he would tear at the cold sheets and wonder where Arthur had gone.  
And all Arthur had to do was let himself be taken into the arms of the river, and swept away to a better place.

**Boys of Summer - Don Henley**

For a summer day it wasn't exactly... well, summer-like. He frowned, glancing around. A small mute light hit the sand in a very stale way. He supposed it was crazy of him to be there anyway. It was nearing the end of summer. There was no point.  
He kicked a rock and headed away. Passing by a row of houses he noticed a familiar face. It was Arthur, standing in his driveway. Alfred stopped to wave then noticed a wavy-haired blonde walk over to Arthur. He kept himself partially hidden on the opposite side of the street, wondering if it was weird to be watching. He watched as the boy tried to flirt with Arthur.  
Thoughts passed through his mind.  
He waited, glaring slightly.  
Arthur didn't seem too interested in him, though.  
He waited, a bit more relieved.  
Finally, after what seemed like forever, the boy left, disappointed.  
Arthur stood there for a moment, watching the boy go. He had a very sad look on his face, but still held a beautiful appearance. He turned and walked back into the darkness of the house.  
Alfred kicked a rock and headed away.  
He stopped though when he saw the face in the window, looking at him.  
He tentatively raised a hand and waved, a beam spreading across his face.  
Arthur offered a small smile back and that was when Alfred decided he wasn't giving up any time soon. No, even when summer was over, he'd still be there.

**A Thousand Years - Christina Perri**

Arthur met Alfred's eyes as they laid in the bed together. He had a knowing sort of smile on his lips as he fiddled around with the bed sheets.  
Alfred passed a questioning look on his face to which Arthur responded with a shake of his head. This only piqued Alfred's curiosity.  
Finally Arthur seemingly gave in and found Alfred's hand, taking it into his own.  
"I'm happy," he murmured warmly, simply, perfectly.  
Alfred brought their hands up to kiss Arthur's fingertips.  
"I'm happy to be here... I'm happy I don't have to wait for you any longer... I'm happy to have your heart with mine. A thousand years, a thousand years it's been... And this love is still here. I'm happy to know it will be here for a thousand more."  
Alfred was quiet after hearing this little confession from Arthur. He pulled him closer, wrapping his arms around him, tucking him up against him.  
He knew the feeling, he knew it well. It seemed he'd died everyday waiting for Arthur... waiting for this. And hearing that it was practically the same for Arthur... Well, that made Alfred's heart flutter.

**She Will Be Loved - Maroon 5**

Alfred didn't know how many times Arthur had shown up recently- no that was a lie. There he was lying to himself again. He knew exactly how many times, down to the hours. But it didn't matter. All that mattered was that Arthur was there again... Even though he was sobbing into Alfred's chest, his small body shaking from each sob. Alfred held him even tighter, glad that Arthur couldn't see the look on his face.  
He'd absolutely had it with Francis. How many times had Arthur escaped over to Alfred's just to get away from the bastard? It took every ounce of his willpower not to go over there and beat the shit out of him. It took every ounce of his willpower not to keep Arthur locked up with him...  
It hurt every time Arthur left. Every time he said goodbye. Hurt every time he came back.  
But... he was happy knowing that it was him that Arthur came back to. That he was the one he could rely on. He'd do anything for him. Do anything to fix that broken smile, to get rid of those tears. He only wished... Well, he wished for a lot. For now, this is how things were, and he didn't want to change them. He could only hope that after a while, Arthur would realize that he was always there for him, and always would be.  
He could only hope that after a while, Arthur would realize that he would always be loved.

_Annnd here we are. _

_I must say I was pleased to have "Hero" come on because that's one of my favorite songs... It's really pretty. I think I shouted a "yes!" when it came on. Hahaha. _

_Feel free to leave any comments. : )_


	2. Chapter 2

_I decided to go ahead and do a second part to this!_  
_I wrote a bunch and counted and thought it was eleven then realized it was only ten! : O _  
_But it's eleven now. ^^ _

_Hope ye enjoy._

* * *

**Damned If I Do Ya - All Time Low**

Arthur pinned Alfred against the wall, causing a commotion amongst the other students in the hallway. A glared showed on his face and Alfred returned the glare.  
"What do you want?"  
The Brit didn't let go but instead pushed him further against the wall, trapping him there. "I want you to leave me the bloody hell alone!" He met Alfred's eyes, his cold gaze not wavering. He meant it this time. "I'm tired of you and your antics! I don't like being around you- you're... too confusing! Just. go. away." He let go of Alfred and stepped back.  
He glanced at the students standing around and shooed them away. He then proceeded to march away.  
Alfred stood still a moment then took off after him. He caught him in a less occupied hallway. "Wait!" He grabbed the Brit's shoulder.  
He spun Arthur around and then their lips met.

**He Ain't the Leaving Kind - Rascal Flatts**

"Who is he?" Arthur asked the young gent sitting next to him. He was very curious.  
"That's Jones. Alfred F. Jones," the man said, a bit of venom in his words. "Nobody really pays attention to him here... We've tried getting rid of him but it just ain't working, ya know? He's stubborn, that he is." The man took a sip of the beer he was holding.  
Arthur grimaced. Although such harsh words had been passed onto him, Arthur could not help but feel even more curious about this Alfred... and... admire him. He saw the way Alfred worked now, hauling all those boxes into the cart. It looked tough, but Arthur could see the look of determination on his face, that motivation in his eyes. He looked strong, durable. Despite all this roughness to him, though, his face still held a sort of gentle look.  
Embarrassingly enough, just then Alfred decided to look over in Arthur's direction. They met eyes and were lost for a moment just staring at one another. Arthur flushed red, and Alfred after a moment gave him a small smile and a little nod of the head.  
"Hey, you're new in town, right?" the man asked Arthur, breaking his gaze from Alfred.  
He looked at the man. "What-? Oh yes... Why?"  
The man just looked at him then shook his head, taking another swig. "I'd stay away from him if I were you..."  
Arthur glared at him then promptly turned and marched straight up to Alfred.

**I Can't Smile Without You - Barry Manilow**

Well, er, this was new.  
"Are you drunk?"  
No response. He watched him climb onto the hood of his truck, scuffing the rusty red paint with his shoe. He clambered across the windshield and right up on top of it, standing remarkably straight for somebody who was drunk and wavering around.  
"A-Ah, get down before you kill yourself!"  
He watched him not listen to what he was saying and sighed. He marched over to the truck to look up at him.  
"You listen to me right now! Don't you make me come up there and bring you down myself!"  
No response or action from him that looked to be like he was getting down.  
"Alfred!"  
Arthur put his hands on his hips, tapping his foot impatiently. He had a scolding look on his face.  
Alfred grinned down at him, stupidly drunk.  
Then he started singing.  
"_I can't smile without you! Can't laugh without-_"  
"Oh for God's sake!"

**Who Knew - Pink **

Alfred let the sobs shake him, not even caring about getting a hold on himself. He'd lost control of everything. He'd lost. He'd lost.  
The sobs weren't even enough. He couldn't.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

He took a deep breath. A really deep one. So deep it hurt and his lungs ached with how much they could hold. As he drew in the breath, it was like all the memories starting cramping in as well. He'd give anything. He'd...  
How could this have happened?  
Losing... Arthur. Arthur. Arthur.  
"ARTHUR!"

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Godammit...  
He collapsed even further into the carpet. This wasn't how things were supposed to go. He was supposed to be the hero. He shouldnt- this couldn't have. This was his fault. He clutched himself, then realized he hadn't released the breath.  
It all came rushing back out. All of it. And even then it still wasn't enough.  
He missed him.  
Goddammit...

**Bills Bills Bills - Glee Cast**

Arthur was done. That was it. He tossed wadded, wrinkled, folded, perfectly smooth but not anymore, flimsy, filmy, tiny, white rectangular sheets of paper to the floor. Then he stepped on them and pulled back his foot to see a dirt print from the pattern of his under-shoe part. He crossed his arms.  
Then the door opened.  
He smiled.  
Perfect.  
He walked over to the front area, putting on a completely happy look on his face. When Francis came into view he held out his arms.  
Francis looked very happy. "Angleterre!" He threw himself into Arthur's arms.  
Who...  
promptly slammed him onto the floor.  
"What-!"  
Arthur began stomping on Francis's face.  
"Angleterre- please, stop!" Francis tried to defend himself, but it was to no avail.  
Arthur glared at him. "You pay your own bloody goddamn bills!"

**Fever - Adam Lambert**

The green-eyed-very-sexy-man ran his fingers along the curve of Alfred's jaw. He dropped his hand away from him slowly, then winked, a smirk playing on his lips. He turned and strutted off.  
Alfred's eyes trailed after him, seeing the way those pants- ohhh... those pants that fit way too perfectly, that gripped those legs way too perfectly. Jealousy. Alfred was jealous of those pants, and he wanted to touch the skin that those pants were covering, hiding from him.  
And ohhh... This was bad. He'd felt the warmth slowly travel through him but now it was like he was on fire. A fever.  
He saw that he had stopped in the doorway, looking back at Alfred with a way too seductive look. Alfred gulped, then pointed to himself.  
He nodded, that playful smile tumbling across his lips. Alfred caught himself staring at his lips. It was insane... He caught himself wanting to stare at everything.  
He rushed forward, the fever practically sending shivers through him. He stumbled over to him, catching his arm. A thrill passed through him at the simple prospect of removing that fabric that separated Alfred's hand from touching the most-likely soft skin on his arm.  
"Would you be m-mine?"

**Hollywood's Not America - Ferras**

"So you want to be an actor?"  
Alfred nodded, eagerly.  
"Well why don't you tell me how you got here?"  
And so Alfred did. He recounted his life story as entertainingly as he could, getting some laughs and some sad looks from the guy.  
"Man..." The guy took a drag of a cigarette. "Sounds rough, but... you sound like you're pulling through."  
Alfred nodded. "Yeah! I don't plan on giving up anytime soon either. I've put too much into this, you know? I figure hard times are gonna come, right, and so if they're unavoidable then I just gotta bear through them."  
The man nodded. "I understand. You better keep that with you- er...?"  
"Alfred. Alfred F. Jones."  
"Pleased to meet you, Alfred. But look I got a piece of advice for you."  
"That so?"  
"Yeah... You seem like a likeable guy. But here in Hollywood you can lose yourself easily... So just remember to stay true to yourself and don't let anybody mold you into something you're not. You'll end up miserable."  
Alfred nodded. "Understood!"

**Rocketeer - Far East Movement **

"Why do you like space so much?" Arthur asked, looking over at Alfred. The blue-eyed grinned at him and took his hand in his. He returned his gaze to the sky.  
"It's so endless... you know? I feel like I could get lost up there forever, but it wouldn't matter because it's just so damn amazing. But you know the best thing about it?"  
"No... what?"  
"No matter how far up I go, or how lost I get, I always have you. Like you're tethered to me, and I know exactly where to come back to."  
Arthur blushed, leaning over to kiss Alfred's cheek.  
Alfred beamed at him. "One day, Arthur, I'm going to take you up into space with me! We'll be up with the stars staring back down at the earth and it'll look so tiny. But it'll just be you and me, and we'll be together. It'll be great!"  
"Oh you're a rocketeer now?" Arthur said, but a smile stayed on his lips. He liked listening to Alfred when he talked about space. He was just so damn happy.  
Alfred nodded, and Arthur started laughing. After a moment Alfred joined in, and it was just the two of them sitting on that hill looking at the sky and laughing.

**I'm Not That Girl - Wicked**

Arthur sat in his usual corner of the cafeteria with a book in his hands, as per usual, and no food in front of him, also usual.  
Everything was as it should be, or, at least, how it had always been. That was until he glanced up over his book and happened to meet blue eyes. He blinked and memories flushed through his mind and onto his face. He went straight back to his book, ignoring the familiar, not so usual ache within him.  
He sighed, glancing over the words, not really reading them anymore. It was pointless. Liking him... It was stupid even. He would never be the one that _he _would chose. He couldn't even hope for it. They weren't friends, they'd never been, they never would be. Alfred would find someone else, and Arthur would continue on, alone, in this safe world he'd created for himself, as per usual.

**Fair - Remy Zero**

"So what if you're the hero! So what if you come swooping down to my rescue! What about when you get hurt? What about that, huh!" Arthur clenched his fists. "Sure you can catch me but where did you plan on landing?"  
Arthur blinked, silent, not saying anything, slightly surprised by this outburst.  
A memory flashed through his mind. Arthur. Sitting there in the dark. Sitting there in the cold. Sitting there crying. Sitting there alone. And then he felt his own fists clench.  
"Arthur I'm not letting you go, and I'm not letting you be- be like that again!"  
He remembered walking in, and stopping. He remember rushing, collapsing over next to Arthur, so frightened. It was like, when he looked at him, Arthur had died. His eyes were dull and everything song-like and lifeful to him had been completely swept from him. He remembered clutching Arthur in his arms, his sobs echoing off barren walls.  
Arthur took a step back but Alfred stopped him.  
"Don't... please don't run away. Don't hide from me. I know I always say I'm going to protect you and take care of you, but it's not like I think you're not strong enough yourself. I know how... brave... and wonderful... How warm and so, so strong you can be. I just... I just wanted to be there for you, Arthur... Please... Let me..."  
Arthur's glare faded slightly, as tears welled up in his eyes. "You stupid git..." He said, his voice cracking halfway through as a sob escaped.  
Alfred pulled him into his arms.

**Yellow - Coldplay**

Arthur heard the sweet, soft whisper of a piano being played. He smiled curiously, setting down his book. He stood up and tiptoed out into the hallway, then down the stairs ever so carefully, like a child sneaking up on Father Christmas. He peeked into the side room, seeing Alfred try and pick out a tune. He stumbled a few times, muttering to himself, but eventually got it right and moved on through.  
Arthur leaned against the frame of the doorway, smiling at him as he watched his Alfred play. He hadn't heard the piano in so long... He'd forgotten how much he enjoyed watching Alfred sit and work out tunes on it. It was intriguing, first, because Arthur didn't play. And it... was nice, because Alfred looked just so... happy, so wrapped up in what he was doing. It was his own little world that he'd surrounded and comforted himself in. But Arthur wasn't-  
He chuckled slightly as Alfred whipped around, surprised to see Arthur there.  
"Hey- er..." He flushed, standing up.  
Arthur shook his head. "Keep playing..." he said. "I like to listen."  
Alfred slowly sank back down, nodding, but still not looking back at the piano. He was like that for a moment before he scooted over and patted the bench next to him.  
Arthur walked over and sat next to him, their sides brushing one another.  
"Any requests?" Alfred asked.  
"No..." Arthur replied.  
Alfred stared at the piano, then began playing a song that took Arthur a moment to recognize.  
Arthur laughed slightly but watched Alfred and the way his hands danced on the blacks and whites. Yes, it was true that Alfred seemed to go off into another world of his own, but Arthur wasn't ever lonely. He never felt excluded or cut off, because he knew that when Alfred played he was playing for Arthur. For Arthur to hear, to listen to, to maybe hum along like he sometimes did, and most of all, for Arthur to enjoy.  
It was okay because Arthur knew when Alfred played he was thinking of him, and that made them both the happiest of all.


	3. Chapter 3

_Third one yaaay~ Haha. Well, this one took my longer than usual, I keep having to go do other things. And when I hit the next button at one point it took me through a bunch of songs that I'd already written to. I just kept hitting next and was like, O.O do I not have any other music? Which is craaazy 'cause I do have a lot of music.  
Anyway, hope y'all enjoy. My creative juices have been kind of stunted lately... And lame. I've been using these to warm myself up and get back into writing. _

* * *

**How to Save a Life - The Fray**

"Arthur you listen to me right now- Don't you dare, Arthur! Don't you do this to me...C'mon!"  
A couple more shakes, a couple more pats on the cheek. He had him gripped tight, hoping to God that he'd see green eyes staring at him anytime now.  
And then he let out a choked sob.  
"Iggy- listen... can you hear me? God... Iggy- dammit open your eyes!"  
He had him up in his arms, tightening his hold on him as he made it to the door.  
He came face to face with a drunken mess of man, standing in the doorway- well more like using the doorway to hold himself up.  
Alfred wanted to kill him, but now wasn't the time. He had to get Iggy out of here. "You did this to him!" he snarled as he shoved by.  
The man drunkenly watched, a flicker of dull anger passed over his face. "..deserve it...he...should've taken more of...pills..." he muttered.  
Alfred's eyes flashed dangerously. "I'm taking him to the hospital, and when I come back I'm going to kill you. You fucking son a bitch."  
He marched out the door. "Hold on Iggy- don't you dare give up on me. You fight, you hear me? Don't you dare do this to me... C'mon!"

**Hush Now (Stella's Tarentella) - Over the Rhine **

Arthur's eyes lit up in curiosity and amusement as Alfred took him into his arms. He let himself fall flush against him, resting his head in the crook of his neck. Their hands met in an awkward but perfect embrace, tangling together then clutching on like clasps. Their hips brushed like a brief kiss, only to pull away then meet again. Arthur felt the room spin, a wind stirring his senses as they waltzed around the room.  
He smiled up at Alfred, a questioning look on his expression. Alfred grinned back down. "You wanted to dance, yes?"  
"You call this dancing?" Arthur scoffed.  
"Well... I would call it a form of dancing," Alfred defended himself. "We could..."  
"Could what?" Arthur breathed, lost in the blue eyes that met his.  
"Do another kind of dancing..." Alfred finished with a wink.

**Throw My Love Around - Jon McLaughlin**

"You are suffocating me!"  
No. That's not what he meant. He regretted it the minute it passed his lips, even before he saw the intense look of hurt glaze over Alfred's face- the absolute shock.  
"I'm s-"  
"Don't apologize to me, Alfred!" Arthur cried out, throwing down the book he'd been holding. He marched up to Alfred, tears stinging the corners of his eyes and then dragging down his face. "What makes you think you can just- just throw your love around everywhere! GOD, Alfred, why can't you..." He was sobbing now, in hysterics. He felt like he was going to collapse and as soon as the thought crossed his mind his legs gave out beneath him.  
His knees hit the ground. He froze there. Not a second later Alfred was there in front of him, knees on the ground as well. Arthur heard the crack as he was pulled into a warm embrace. He tried to push himself away.  
"No! No no no!"  
"Iggy!"  
"No, why can't you ever just-" He sobbed. He choked on his sobs. His whole body shook. "Just think of yourself for once!"  
"I'm here!" Alfred said, pulling him closer, tightening his hold. He wasn't letting ago. "I'm here Iggy... I'm right here..."  
He rocked them, repeating the words over and over as Arthur sobbed into his chest.

**Do You Know - Enrique Iglesias**

"A-and the worst part of it-" He fought back the tears, trying to convince himself that the bastard wasn't worth a single tear for. "W-w-was that everybody else knew but me!"  
He tried to stand up and march off, but Alfred stopped him, keeping him sitting there, right next to him. "He just threw me away..." He met Alfred's eyes. "D-did you know!"  
Alfred could see the absolute hurt in Arthur's eyes. The pain, the betrayal he was feeling showed all too well on his face. Alfred could only hope the intense anger and hate he held for Francis wasn't showing on his face at the moment. It would probably be murderous- and he didn't particularly want to scare Iggy off at the moment.  
He shook his head. He hadn't known Francis would have gone off like that.  
"Do you know what it feels like? I-I-can't s-stand it... I don't know... Alfred..." He buried his face in Alfred's chest, trembling.  
Alfred hesitated, told himself there was no going back, then tilted Arthur's head up into a kiss.

**Go the Distance - Hercules**

"Can't you just picture it Iggy?" Alfred spun around. He stared up at the sky- the stars to be precise. His gazed was lost in them for a moment, as if all his dreams, hopes, loves, as if his life was up there in them. He finally lowered his gaze and met green eyes. Green eyes that stood out even in the dark of the night. His gaze softened as he looked at Arthur.  
"I'm going to be a hero, Iggy. I'm going into the city and there I'll get it right, I just know it!"  
Arthur smiled, an adoring expression on his face.  
"You're already a hero, Alfred."  
"To you, yes- but there's so much more I can be! I just know it! And..." A sad look flickered across Alfred's face. "And I can't do it by staying here... I need to go, Iggy..."  
Arthur sighed and looked down. He was silent for a moment before looking back up.  
He measured Alfred's face with his gaze before a sad smile came to his lips.  
"Then go," he said.

**Kiss Me Slowly - Parachute**

"H-how much was...nh... this-?" Arthur was cut off by lips meeting his in a desperate but loving fit. He melted into the kiss, his fingers crawling up Alfred's chest.  
His back was pushed against the window, and he clung to Alfred as if the glass would give way. It was cold on his back and he shivered, glancing back through half-shut eyes at the streets below. Alfred only growled slightly and tightened the hold his arms had on Arthur.  
The moonlight hit them from behind Arthur, highlighting the room behind him. It was really beautiful, but Arthur switched his focus to Alfred.  
His fingers slid all the way up around Alfred's neck, wrapping around him. He pulled himself up more to meet Alfred's lips, his breath hitched in his throat, his head spinning. They kissed, slow and drawn out. There was a tangle of breaths and gasps, their lips bubbling fervently, their noses awkwardly brushing one another. All of that was intoxicating, and Arthur wanted this with no one but Alfred.

**Back to Black - Glee Cast**

"Aw man cool! _Back to Black_ - ACDC, right?"  
Arthur gaped at him and snatched the CD away.  
"What? Is that some cover?"  
Arthur's gape turned into a glare. "No, you git! It's Amy Winehouse's song!"  
Alfred frowned slightly. "Well...sorry... not like I keep up on your artists all the time, Iggy."  
Iggy shook his head, slightly appalled at Alfred.  
"I mean- your music's pretty lame- OW!"  
"Take that back!" Arthur cried, hitting Alfred with the CD case.  
"Wha-? No way!"  
"You CANNOT be calling MY music lame! Think of all- all the great bands and singers my country's produced! And your country completely soaks it all up."  
"Dusty Springfield." Alfred stated with a dry face, raising an eyebrow.  
"What's wrong with Dusty?" Arthur asked, furrowing his eyebrows.  
"Face it Iggy- your culture's boring."  
Arthur was gaping again. "A-are you on drugs? Are you really Alfred! It is totally NOT dull...o-or..." He looked hurt: did Alfred really think that? "What about Nick Drake?"  
"Boooring..."  
Arthur glared.  
"Duran Duran, Fleetwood Mac, Pink Floyd-"  
Alfred yawned.  
Arthur's glare increased. "Radiohead, The Who-"  
Alfred tried to interrupt but Arthur cut him off, continuing. "David Bowie, Led Zeppelin, The Rolling Stones, Elton John, Queen, and _the Beatles_!" He huffed, spinning around and marched off.  
He felt a hand snag around his waist and pull him back. He struggled to get out of Alfred's grip. "Let me go you git! I don't want to talk to you right now!"  
Alfred gave a low chuckle. "Iggy... I was only joking with ya... I don't really think your culture's all that boring- well, your music part of it anyway."  
Arthur glared, refusing to answer or look at Alfred.  
"C'mon Iggy... You can't really think I'd be that mean. I mean, my country practically worships Elton John, The Rolling Stones, Queen, all those bands!"  
Alfred kissed Arthur's cheek. Arthur still refused to answer.  
"I'm sorry Iggy, really," Alfred apologized. "Forgive me?"

**Vulnerable - Secondhand Serenade**

Alfred opened up the blankets he had and pulled Arthur into his embrace, rewrapping the blankets closed around them. Arthur shivered, the cold still plastered to his clothing. Alfred tightened his hold as they listened.  
The sounds of gunshots echoing through the streets made their way through the cracks in the wall of the bomb shelter they resided in.  
"It'll be okay Iggy..." Alfred murmured. "I'm here. I love you. I'm not going to let anything happen to you."  
"...how can you be so sure?" Arthur asked quietly, looking at Alfred. He reached out a shaky hand to touch Alfred's face.  
Alfred looked back at him, seeing how... fragile Arthur looked. How vulnerable. In a way seeing Arthur like that only made Alfred himself feel vulnerable. His pale skin was glazed slightly from sweat, his body shook. He could see the fever working its way all over Arthur and he curled his body around Arthur, as if to protect him. If anything were to happen to Arthur... Alfred shuddered to think of it. He realized so much of him depended on Arthur not getting hurt.  
"I just won't," Alfred promised, shaking his head. "I'll do anything- I will be anything- whatever it takes to keep you safe."  
He was quiet after that. They listened to the gunshots fade away into the distance, hoping this would pass soon. It was the second raid of that month, and to be frank, Alfred was getting pissed off at it. He cradled Arthur, humming a tune as if to drown away the sounds from outside, as if to pretend they were completely alone.

**Chemicals React - Aly & AJ**

It was like an explosion- a sudden mesh of aspects working too perfectly together and so they flung themselves out, creating a grand display of power and sight and sound.  
It was like stars colliding- a sudden crash of something not really solid, but you knew it was there. It was the light that blazed across the sky in a grand display of something much older and important than you.  
It was all of that... and then...  
It was like a heartbeat- a very quiet thump that sometimes sped and other times slowed. It could only be heard when you were very close and had your ear pressed to that warm skin, creating a grand display of a bond with no strings.  
That's how it was when Alfred met Arthur's eyes, when Arthur looked back. That's how it was when they pulled themselves closer, lips, skin, limbs ringing out in greeting. That's how the love felt that seemed to come from their very cores. It was made Alfred realize that this was real and definite. It was what made Arthur realized that there was no going back. The chemical reaction was something you could never change back to before.  
It was what made them realize how much they loved one another.

**Anne - Safetysuit**

Alfred looked at Arthur, captivated once again.  
Arthur's eyes met his questioningly. "What are looking at?"  
"You're beautiful."  
Arthur looked down, a sad and doubtful look passing over his features. Alfred frowned, reaching out. He cupped Arthur's face in his hands and forced him to look back up to meet his eyes. "I mean it Arthur- you're beautiful. I... How can I make you see? I never get tired of looking at you... I can't ever get enough of you. I know you may not see yourself like I do, but I am telling you..." He brushed his thumb across Arthur's cheek. "Iggy... whenever you're around sometimes you're so beautiful I just can't move. It's like I'm frozen there and it's because of you."  
Arthur's eyes had widened slightly.  
"I'll remind you every moment of your life until you believe me."

**Stereo Hearts - Gym Class Heroes ft. Adam Levine**

"What on earth is that?" Arthur asked as Alfred sat down the rather worn down and heavy boombox in front of Arthur.  
"My heart," Alfred responded with a grin.  
Arthur looked down at it. "Why does your heart have R.D. loves K.S. scratched on the side of it?"  
Alfred flushed. "W-well... I mean... this things been used a lot; its really old and all. Listen, just... forget about that. It's a present, Iggy, for you. I saw this baby and thought you'd like it. Also..." Alfred dug his hand into his pocket, trying to fish something out. He pulled out a tape. "I made a tape of all my favorite songs. It's a tape for you- all my feelings wrapped up into one tape... OK that was a lie. I actually made about twenty others but I thought I'd give them to you in intervals, ya know? That way you'd uncover more of my feelings as we go." He shuffled his feet nervously. "A-and... well... Sometimes it's really hard to say how much you mean to me. I mean I always try, right? But music... music is a way people express their feelings. And I figure what better way than to give you all of my feelings than through music? And you can always sing along- I mean, if you feel the same way towards me, but I understand... And I know there might be some songs on there that you don't really care for, Iggy. But isn't that how it is? There are things about me that you probably don't really care for but you put up with me anyway-"  
He was cut off by Arthur throwing his arms around him and planting a kiss on him. Alfred immediately wrapped his arms around Arthur in return, kissing him back.  
Arthur broke the kiss gently. "Thank you Alfred..." he breathed.  
Alfred smiled and kissed him again.

* * *

_Yeah I don't really know what was going on when I wrote "Chemicals React". It's a little weird, yah? _


	4. Chapter 4

_So this chapter's a bit more special to me... It's so in the way that I branched out on the ages that the stories take place. In "Finally Home" it starts out with Alfred as a young boy, but in the last one "Heaven" both he and Arthur are grown old men. Haha, I get really sentimental about growing up and stories like such so while I was writing a couple of these I got really sad. I didn't cry but I came close to tearing up at one point. Not that I think my stories are just so beautiful and inspiring that someone could cry at them; it's just the content._

_I also had a realization while typing that a lot of songs on my itunes are rather depressing. : ( It's hard to write so many songs one after the other in which the story has to be sad. _

_"Do What You Have to Do" really got to me as well because that song to me is so beautiful. The lyrics are easily relatable if you've lost somebody important to you._

_Around "Hit the Road, Jack" is where I felt it started straying from the sad stories so I was happy to have more upbeat ones to write. It's like it was all just going down, down, down and I was like by the end of this I'll have no characters left because they'll have died way too many times! o.o!_

_Then a comment for "Speak for Myself"; I pictured that scene to be set in a AU where they're high schoolers. _

_Also please pardon the language... I believe I included more language in this chapter than the others... I have not actually counted, but sorry about that anyway. ^^'_

_But as usual, please enjoy. I'm pretty sure I'm growing addicted to writing these. I suppose it's due to the fact that they're very easy to do. But perhaps I should lay off on the meme? Who knows...?_

* * *

**Finally Home - MercyMe**

Arthur giggled as small arms secured themselves around his neck. He picked up the small boy and returned the hug, cradling the boy in his arms. "You're finally home!" The child exclaimed, wonder filling his blue eyes. Arthur pulled back to see that familiar grin plastered to the boy's face and couldn't help but return it, pleased.

Arthur shut the door behind him to a quiet house. He looked around and then closed his eyes. For a brief moment he could hear memories whispering in his ears. He could remember that smile, that warmth of having somebody to come home to. And now it was just an empty house. Now it was just him. He sighed, upset.

Arthur dropped off his coat at the front and was greeted by a pair of larger, more solid arms wrapping themselves around his waist. "You're finally home...I missed you so much..." Alfred murmured into his hair. Arthur closed his eyes and nodded silently, a peaceful smile on his face. He returned the hug with a sort of relief, happy.

**Miss Murder - A.F.I.**

"What did you say? _What did you say!"_ Green eyes squinted dangerously and Arthur leaped at the doctor, fist posed to strike. "DO YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!"  
Hands caught him and pulled him back, grabbing his fist. The man in a confused and shocked manner had stumbled back and was now planted firmly on his butt on the floor. He starred in fear at the absolute rage that burned in Arthur's eyes.  
"I-I...I-"  
"YOU BLOODY SON OF A BASTARD. YOU FILTH."  
"Angleterre calm down!" Francis shoved Arthur back, staring at him with sad but serious eyes. "This man iz innocent, Angleterre... And foolish. You cannot juzt hit 'im."  
Arthur looked like he was about to shove Francis out of the way but then broke down into sobs.  
"I know it 's hard to accept, but listen to me... It 'is not 'is fault, and Angletterre, it 's not your fault eizer. He would not want zis..."  
Arthur looked at him, tears pooling out of his eyes. "But...but... I don't understand..." Sobs racked his body; they were uncontrollable. "How...how could Alfred...?" He started hyperventilating, shaking his head. Francis placed a hand on his back and patted it soothingly. "I'm sorry...I know it is... hard... to lose zomeone you love."  
Arthur kept shaking his head back and forth, like he couldn't accept it. What...what was he going to... What could he do?

**Let Me Go - 3 Doors Down**

"You're not something I deserve," Arthur told Alfred, as he turned from where he'd been standing and headed to the door.  
An hand grabbed his arm, trying to stop him. He wrenched free from the grip.  
"Let me go," he said in a firm voice that went against everything within him. He was still turned away from Alfred, unable to face him.  
"Arthur listen to me... we can-"  
Arthur shook his head, cutting Alfred off. "I'm not going to lie to you anymore, Alfred. I won't do it, I _can't _do it. You're the only thing in my mind... I can't get you out... But I'm not going to be the one to bring you down. Don't you understand? It'll be easier if you just _let me go._"  
He started up towards the door, not waiting for a response from Alfred. He was surprisingly stable for how he felt on the inside. He knew as soon as he was out of eye and ear-shot that he'd break down. He just had to get out of there, soon.  
"You don't know me, Alfred. You may think you love me... But it's all a lie. How can you love me when you don't know me?" He snapped, hoping anger would separate them. He practically tore open the door and darted out.

**Do What You Have To - Sarah McLachlan **

_What ravages of spirit conjured this tempestuous rage?_

How many times had he woken up with the same goddamn craving? This fucking clawing at his insides that was endless, infinite, unrelenting. He had to remind himself all the goddamn time; had to go through the steps.

_And I have the sense to recognize that I don't know how to let you go._

"Fuck it's like I'm in rehab..." he growled, throwing the sheets off in a violent matter.

_I'm ever swiftly moving, trying to escape this desire._

First it was always that burning desire, that glowing flame within him that burned and sparked, driving him forward. He was running and running and then running to get away. He ran until he fell into storm of rage. Sometimes the rage never calmed, sometimes it was there in the background, burning like the remains of a fire waiting to be brought back to life.

_The yearning to be near you..._

And then it was the sorrow and the longing, the thought that maybe... just maybe he could see him again, hear him again...touch him again.

_Deep within I'm shaken by the violence of existing for only you...  
_

How could he have ever known it would have been like this? It was _miserable. _It was hell he couldn't come to terms with. The absolute force that kept hurtling him around... He just wanted to finally feel the crash. When would that impact come that would so he could end this despair? Never. It would never come.

_I know I can't be with you... I do what I have to do..._

**Cold - Crossfade**

"Iggy I'm so... sorry... Goddammit it all, I'm so fucking sorry." Alfred threw down the cigarette, smearing it under his shoe. He looked over at Arthur. "I never... I..." He threw himself down in a chair, and put his head in his hands.  
Arthur stood very still in the spot he'd been standing for a while now. He watched Alfred, face expressionless.  
After a while Alfred looked up at him through his fingers. "Oh Iggy...Shit... I never... I'm so sorry, I should haverealized. You were always there- you were the one... the reason I got by. I never meant for you to see that..."  
Besides the chair Alfred was sitting on the rest of the room had been destroyed, torn to pieces. "I'm a monster..." Alfred said through gritted teeth, putting his head back in his hands. "Iggy I'm so sorry..."

**Hit the Road Jack - Hermes House Band**

"DUDE, STOP. CALLING." Alfred slammed down the phone, a very frustrated and exasperated look on his face.  
Arthur stepped into the room, a curious but worried look on his face. "Are you alright...?" he asked Alfred. Then, "Was it him again?"  
Alfred nodded. He took a deep breath, trying to control his anger.  
"If he calls one more time-"  
"It's okay..." Arthur said soothingly. He was by Alfred now, touching his face, stroking his thumb across his cheek.  
Alfred captured Arthur's hand in his own, kissing his palm. "No Iggy... The way that bastard treated you- I... It's very hard to control myself."  
Arthur looked at him quietly. "I sent him packing, Alfred."  
"But now he keeps calling," Alfred said dryly.  
The phone rang.  
Arthur managed to grab it up before Alfred. He answered it. "Listen here-"  
Alfred snatched the phone away. "Hit the road, fucktard! He's mine now! You lost him and that's your fault you bastard." He slammed the phone down, then unplugged it from the wall.  
He huffed, glancing at Arthur.  
"What?" he asked, after seeing the amused expression on Arthur's face.  
Arthur shook his head and then leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "Thanks love. You tell that 'fucktard' how it is." He giggled and headed back out of the room.

**I Could Get Used to This - The Veronicas**

"For me?" Arthur repeated after a bouquet of roses were placed in his hands.  
"Who else?" Alfred grinned, leaning forward and kissing Arthur softly. He pulled back and Arthur stared at him with a sort of dazed look, as if he couldn't believe that he actually existed. He sagged against the wall, using it to support himself. "Iggy, you okay?" Alfred asked worriedly.  
Arthur nodded. "J-just..." He looked at Alfred again. Slowly a very loving look softened his features.  
Alfred noticed and flushed slightly. "Do... do you like them?" he asked nervously.  
Arthur nodded, bringing them up to sniff them. "Very much, thank you love..." He met Alfred's eyes as a smile lit up his face.  
Alfred felt his heartbeat increase slightly. His grinned widened.  
"You know..." Arthur started, leaning in towards him. "I could get used to this..." he murmured, then pressed his lips against Alfred's and kissed him deeply. He brought a hand up to wrap gently around Alfred's neck and pull him into the kiss more, pressing their bodies together. Alfred wrapped his arms around Arthur.  
_I could get used to this, too... _They both thought.

**I Want to Hold Your Hand - The Beatles**

"Ah...er...your...Hey Iggy maybe...Well, that is...I don't suppose- please..."  
Arthur blinked, looking at Alfred almost impatiently. Why didn't he just spit it out already? He'd already called Arthur out on a busy schedule... He didn't really have time to stand in an empty room waiting for the git to say whatever he had to that was so important. But... he guessed it was because it was Alfred that he was letting him get away with this.  
"Yes?" he pressed.  
Alfred kept stammering and Arthur sighed. After a listening to it for a couple more minutes he met Alfred's eyes. "Yes."  
Alfred blinked this time, a look of shock crossing his face. "Yes?" he breathed.  
Arthur nodded. "Yes to whatever it is." He had a pretty good idea.  
A grin broke across Alfred's face. He leaned down and kissed Arthur softly. After a heartbeat he pulled away, meeting Arthur's eyes.  
Arthur rolled his eyes but smiled at the American.  
"Anything else?" he asked.  
Alfred was about to shake his head but when he saw Iggy turn to leave he stopped him. "Wait! Can I... May I..."  
"Alfred..."  
"I want to hold your hand!" Alfred finally cried out, as if yelling at Arthur. Arthur laughed, but reached over. He took a hold of Alfred's hand. "You don't even need to ask, love," he said, leading Alfred out of the room.

**Fucking Perfect - Pink**

Alfred wrapped his hands around Arthur and hauled him quickly out of the tub. He immediately set him down on the bath mat and began applying CPR. Push. Breathe. Push. Breathe. Push. Do whatever it takes. Push Breathe. Don't let him die.  
A coughing snapped him from his rhythm and he watched as Arthur's eyes fell open. He was coughing, hacking up water. He started to sit himself up, confused as to what was going on. He saw Alfred and was shocked, not knowing what to say.  
Alfred's eyes burned with tears. He felt them leak out and hoped that maybe they would just pass as water from the tub. Arthur kept their gazes locked, not knowing whether to look away or keep watching silently; wondering who would be the first to move.  
It was Alfred. He reached over and pulled Arthur into his arms, sobs shaking him. "I-Iggy... Don't...please... go God, don't do that to me again. You hear me? Don't... leave me... God, I love you."  
Arthur started crying too, ashamed at himself. "I'm sorry Alfred..." he whispered, his voice hoarse.  
Alfred kept holding him, still crying. Arthur eventually wrapped his arms around Alfred as well. They were both silent, lost in the thoughts of what they were going to do now. What they needed to do now. Both lost in the thoughts of how it wasn't going to ever be easy.

**Speak For Myself - Aly & AJ**

"Why do you always let him treat you like that?" Alfred asked, sipping at his nearly empty soda. He shook it, hearing mostly ice.  
Arthur glanced up at him from the book he'd been studying.  
"I mean... dude, just 'cause he's older than us doesn't mean he has a right to treat you like... like you're not even there!" He slammed the plastic cup down to emphasis his words.  
Arthur sighed. "Alfred I really don't think it's all too much of your business. Now if you don't mind I'd like to go back to studying."  
Alfred frowned. "Iggy... you always speak up to me when you want something... You always tell me, so why not him?"  
"It's because I know that you'll listen to me," Arthur replied, not looking up.  
Alfred was quiet for a moment. "He's not worth it, you know..."  
Arthur forced himself not to freeze.  
"There's so much he's missing, Iggy. One day he's going to regret it all."  
Arthur snorted slightly but inside he felt warmed, comforted. A small smile was on his lips that he hid from Alfred behind his book.  
"Iggy-"  
"I'm trying to study, git..." he murmured, but not as harshly. "...But thank you..."  
Alfred beamed. "No problem, Iggy. Anytime, anywhere, anything."

**Heaven - DJ Sammy & Yanou ft. Do**

A wrinkled hand held Alfred's. "What are you thinking about...?" Arthur murmured, eyes trained on him.  
"Oh... just our younger years."  
Arthur grimaced slightly, but made no comment. He turned his head to stare out the window. The morning sun was clambering up over the sill and falling into the bedroom.  
"What are you thinking about?" Alfred asked, curious.  
"You and I," Arthur replied.  
"I hope good things about you and I," Alfred commented.  
Arthur nodded and looked away from the window. He rolled over so he was facing Alfred. "Not always the good things... But... even if there are bad memories it... It doesn't matter, because I love you."  
Alfred looked at him seriously. He wrapped his free arm around Arthur. "I love you too... You're all I'm ever going to need."  
Arthur closed his eyes. "What do you think it'll be like?" he asked.  
Alfred knew what he was talking about. As the days passed and they grew older, it was something Arthur seemed to mention more of. "I don't know honestly..." he replied. "But... Nothing, and I repeat, nothing is going to change what you mean to me. I'll be standing there right beside you." He pressed his lips against Arthur's forehead.  
"Hey Alfred...?"  
"Hm?"  
"I believe it's going to be just like it is now."  
Alfred smiled. "I like the sound of that."


	5. Chapter 5

**Tong Hua – Guang Liang**

"How far has it progressed…? I don't… understand." Alfred looked pathetically at the doctor, tired eyes, and dark circles under them. He and the doctor's gaze both turned to gaze through a window, peering into a too bright of white room. The kind of bright like walking out of a theatre and it was still daytime.

By the window Arthur lay on a cot.

"Can I go in…? Please?" he pleaded, exhausted, worried, and sick.

The doctor nodded. "Not for too long. You don't want to make him any more tired than he is now."

Alfred nodded and entered the room, crossing over to the bedside.

Arthur turned his head slowly, looking away from the window, and smiled weakly at him. "What a surprise… I didn't know you were here…" he said with pale lips.

Alfred took a seat. "Y-yeah…" he attempted to sound cheerful.

There was a silence between them.

"You told me… the other day you had something for me. Will you tell me what it is?"

Alfred felt disconnected, not completely there. Struggling and stuck between shattering to pieces all over the floor and staying composed for Arthur.

"It ain't done yet Artie…" He took his hand. "So you better stick around until it's finished, ya hear? You're gonna get all better, all right? I'll be makin' sure of it…"

**A Wink and a Smile – Harry Connick Jr.**

"I feel… odd… and old," Arthur commented, watching couples twirl around the floor.

Alfred grinned, swaying a bit and tapping his foot to that jazzy swing. "And why's that?"

"For one, practically everyone in here is… at least sixty. And this place used to be- what was it? A skating rink? When did this happen?"

"They changed it right after we graduated," Alfred said. He stood up and offered Arthur his hand. "Let's dance Artie," he said.

"Do we have to?"  
"You'll like it, I promise."  
"Oh really?" Arthur smiled.

"Trust me," Alfred winked.

**Die Young – Kesha**

"So…. You came with who?" Alfred was holding back the frown tugging at his lips. He watched the shorter blonde carefully, his eyes caught on green and unable to look away. They danced close to one another, the surrounding bodies practically shoving them closer.

"My… boyfriend, Francis," Arthur said with a look of distaste that Alfred noted.

He felt a bit sour at hearing the name and wrapped his arms around Arthur, pulling him closer. He didn't care if this Francis saw, and by the looks of it, the blonde didn't either.

"What's your name?"

"Arthur. Yours?"  
"Alfred."  
"Alfred? It's nice to meet you… I'm glad you're here…"

"Yeah," Alfred grinned, intending to make the most of his time with Arthur, and pretty sure he wasn't intending on letting him go anytime soon, at least for the night.

**The Rain – Joe Hisashi**

"The rain… it's like bells…"  
"Alfred you need to come back inside," Arthur said, trying to coax him back into the house. He put a hand on Alfred's back, the other on his arm. Alfred moved only slightly, but tried to stay where he was outside.

Afternoon rain fell down around them and Alfred was already soaked to the bone; Arthur could feel the heaviness of his closing and see the hair plastered to his head, and raindrops crying down his glasses.

"It smells really nice…"

"Alfred you need to come back inside," Arthur repeated. "You're going to get sick." He tried to move him again.

The two old bodies shuffled back to the back porch door of the house, working together to climb the steps, one a bit hesitant to stay and the other hesitant in wariness.

"It's really calming when it rains…"

"Yes… yes I know… but you can admire the rain from inside, Alfred," Arthur soothed, opening a creaky door.

Alfred didn't step in and Arthur didn't want to force him in. He stepped past Alfred and took his hand, trying to draw him in towards himself.

"Please love… I'd love for you to come inside…"

"I think it should rain more," Alfred commented.

"Please…"

**Something Good Can Work – Two Door Cinema Club**

"Well are you sure? I feeling a bit uneasy about all this Alfred and I'm not quite positive if it's because opening day is almost here and there's still a lot to do or if it's because opening day is almost here and I feel this will go spiralling downhill and all of this will have been for nothing. It worries me and I can't sleep-"  
"Arthur, seriously, stop talking. Please."

Arthur frowned at him, looking slightly offended.  
"You've always wanted this… to open a book store, right…?" Arthur nodded. "It's been your dream since… since my great aunt carted us to that tiny town and the only place of interest there was that tiny book store. And now that I'm a part of this, a part of helping you achieve your dream, which is so incredibly close, I'm going to make sure you'll get what you want. Everything will be alright, I promise. Stop worrying so much." Alfred smiled and leaned over, kissing Arthur on the forehead. "Please?"

**Wild Ones – Flo Rida ft. Sia**

"This is crazy holy shit!" Alfred exclaimed, even though there was only excitement laced in his voice.

"You said you wanted something wild!" Arthur responded, reaching to yank the emergency brake up when Alfred gave the signal.

The car spun dramatically to the left, skidding and slowing from the fast speed they'd been going. They whipped around completely out of their turn, and Alfred, foot pressing down on the clutch, shifted while Arthur put the brake back down. They roared back down the strip of empty road, a dusty red-hot evening stretching before them on flat Arizona State.

They passed the others, camped out with drinks and music from someone's car. They whooped and hollered as Alfred and Arthur shot pass.

Alfred glanced over and grinned at Arthur who smiled back, and even though they were speeding down the road everything seemed to slow in that moment. It was muted and blood was pumping in their heads and their eyes were locked with one another. And then it all came rushing back, the roar of wheels on road, and the wind crashing in their ears.

"What do you say we leave these guys," Arthur suggested, "and do something even crazier?"

Alfred grinned more. "I like the sound of that."

**True – Ryan Cabrera**

"A-Al-whoa wait…" Matthew stumbled as his brother dragged him to a back corner of the house they were at. The crowd of people gave them cover but Alfred still slunk down a bit, eyes looking and scanning, as if he was afraid to be seen. "What are you doing?"

"He's here."

"He?"  
"_Him!_"

"Where?" Matthew asked, now looking too.

"Mattie this is the fifth, and counting, party that I have seen him at. The fifth-"  
"Wait a min-"

"Do you understand? It has to be fate, right? I shouldn't just ignore this I gotta seize this chance. I'm gonna ask him out. I'm going to do it. Aw hell he's looking over here, act normal!"  
Matthew watched Alfred and saw how jittery he looked, smashed against a wall trying to hide from this person that his brother had seen at apparently five parties and could never stop talking about and obviously had a major crush on.

"Do you even know his name?"  
"Arthur. It's Arthur," Alfred said, as if it were the most beautiful name he'd ever heard. "I feel like I've waited my entire life for him and… and now he's here for the _fifth _time. This is the moment of truth. Right?"

He looked at Matthew for confirmation then suddenly stood up straight. "I'm going over now, wish me luck," he said before Matthew could open his mouth to say anything more.

He looked after Alfred, dumbfounded. "Uh… good luck?"

**Lights – Ellie Goulding**

"Did you know, before we lived together, that I always slept with the light on?" Alfred admitted. He pressed his chest to Arthur's back, the arm around his waist wrapping a little tighter and drawing Arthur a little closer.

"I didn't know that," Arthur replied quietly. "Do you need a light now?" he asked, not in a mocking way.

Alfred shook his head a bit. "No. But Mattie always hated it- he could never fall asleep. It was better when we got our own rooms finally but before that we'd always fight to keep the light on or off."

"You didn't have a nightlight?" Arthur asked.

"It wasn't enough sometimes… That's obviously changed now. When we first moved in together it was a bit difficult to adjust… but I told myself I needed to be strong-"  
"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know… But anyway, it doesn't matter anymore."  
"What do you mean?"  
"I have you and you're… god this is embarrassing… you're my light now, Arthur. So it's okay. As long as I have you…"

"That is embarrassing."  
"Hey," Alfred complained, poking him. Arthur laughed. "That was a compliment."

"I know I know," Arthur smiled. "You're my light too…"  
There was silence for a moment then Alfred joked, "I think it's getting a little bit too bright in here with all these lights."

**How to Love – Lil Wayne**

Alfred had laid Arthur back on the bed, making sure the pillow was propped under him. He gently touched his cheek, watching him carefully. "I'm not going to hurt you," he promised, panting a bit.

Arthur wouldn't look at him, face flushed softly. "I… I don't want to do this."

Alfred leaned down and kissed him, lips meeting his and moving with his. Warmth bounced between them until they pulled away in small gasps.  
"Okay," Alfred smiled. He moved off of him and laid by his side, wrapping an arm around him. "We'll stop here then," he murmured, eyes admiring Arthur but also laced with a bit of concern.

"I'm sorry… I'm sorry, Alfred."  
"Shhh… it's all right Arthur. It's alright…" He ran a hand through his hair. "We're going to take this at your speed. And whenever you're uncomfortable we'll fix that… we'll change it… we'll stop. I'm not going to do anything you don't want to do. I love you."

**Morning Song - Jewel**

"Mm… Arthur don't get up…" Alfred mumbled sleepily, bring himself closer to his partner. The phone from the kitchen rang and rang until it finally cut off. Arthur who'd been trying to get up to get to it in time gave up. He sank into the bed, seeping down into the sheets. He turned his head to see Alfred sitting up a bit. He shifted so he was over Arthur and began giving him morning kisses. He could feel slightly chapped lips wet as their kisses deepened. Hands slid over warm skin and everything was slow and lulled.

Arthur opened his eyes when Alfred broke the kiss, and he looked up at him with a warm, adoring expression. Their noses brushed as the phone rang once more. "Stay…" Arthur murmured.

**Chasing Cars – Snow Patrol**

"I don't care… I don't care if, for the rest of our lives, all we do is lie by each other. Even if we don't speak if I have you by my side for the rest of my life then that is all that I need. Because… I can't live without you Arthur…" Alfred swallowed and moved so he was in front of Arthur and taking his hand in his. "I don't quite know… how to say it… I mean, I'm not good with words you know that Artie…"

He looked extremely nervous. "I don't want this to be cliché… I want it to be special… I had everything planned out, you know, in my head. But then when I try and speak it's all jumbled-"  
"Alfred…" Arthur smiled gently at him.

Alfred swallowed again. "I love you Arthur. I loved you yesterday and a minute ago, and I'm going to love you in the next three seconds and the next thirty years. I'm not planning on stopping loving you and… and I hope you won't stop loving me. I'm giving you all of me, because your green eyes and your eyebrows and everything about you, even if it changes, is what makes me feel good and right. And because I feel this way I want to be here to make you feel that way too… So…" He tried to stay calm as he spoke. "Arthur Kirkland, will you marry me?"

* * *

_So I didn't check for any grammatical, punctual, etc. errors. If there are any I apologize. _


	6. Chapter 6

WARNING: Sexual Content

I'll put a mark next to the ones with the content if you'd rather not read them but yeah enjoy. : )

(I'm so sorry if they're terrible I've never written anything for FF like this.)

* * *

**Somebody to Love – Ella Enchanted OST**

Arthur didn't understand what someone had to do to find a partner because when he looked down the hallway it seemed that everyone always had a boyfriend or girlfriend or were moving on to the next. And here he was, still single, still pawning after one guy and maybe that was his problem. But even if he did want someone to love him it wouldn't make things any better because he was too lost on Alfred- everything about him. The way his jacket sometime tugged up the back of his shirt and even if he didn't know it, everyone could see the superhero undies he favoured so much. But no one noticed Arthur there giggling and wishing to himself that one day Alfred would look his way and love him in the way that Arthur loved him.

Neatly stacking his books into his locker he shut the door with a sigh. To his surprise a figure moved in close to him and suddenly it was sky blue and smiles. "Al-"

He was cut off with a finger to his lips. "Come with me. I have something I need to tell you."

**Complicated – Avril Lavigne**

"I don't like the way you've changed Arthur!"

"Shut it git, what are you going on about? I haven't changed one bit. You're over complicating things as usual."  
The taller blonde's eyebrows rose and he crossed his arms over his chest. "Uh-huh, yeah, so, explain this."

He motioned to Arthur's piercings, the tighter clothing he was in, the bruises he attempted to cover up but ones on your arms and face were harder to hide.

"So whot I've changed my wardrobe? Made a little changes to my style, whot's it to you?"

"I don't care what you're wearing," Alfred gritted. "There's something you're not telling me and frankly, it's scaring the shit out of me. Where are these bruises coming from? Is… Are people hurting you?" Alfred looked so hurt that Arthur almost wondered if he was the one getting injured instead and was tempted to examining Alfred for bruises.

"People- people aren't," he shot back, stepping and looking away.

"Arthur…" Alfred reached, noticing the flinch from Arthur, and took his hand. "I want to help you…. Please…. I can't stand, can't stand you being hurt please tell me…" He moved in closer and pressed his forehead to Arthur's. "You can trust me… I'm here. And I'll always be here, no matter how much you change."

**I Want You – Kelly Clarkson**

"You."

"Pardon?"

"I want you," Alfred said, moving closer to Arthur on the couch and turning so he could slide his arms around Arthur's waist. He grinned and watched Arthur become more distressed on whether he should put his book down or push Alfred away. "Artie," he purred, leaning in towards his face.

"What do you think you're doing? I am trying to read," he pressed. He pushed the book against Alfred's chest, but Alfred just plucked it from his fingers and tossed it onto the coffee table.

"You've been ignoring me ever since I got home, Arthur." He tsked. "I can't stand for that, can I?"

"If I recall the first thing you did upon arriving home, _after_ I so graciously picked you up from work, was grab as much food as you could hold and disappear into the TV room."

Alfred rolled his eyes. "I was in there for an hour, tops. You've been out here from 5 and it's 9 now. Now relax a little, babe."

He fell forward, pushing Arthur onto his back and planted a big sloppy kiss on his neck. "I want you."

**Green Eyes - Coldplay**

It's the first thing I notice about Arthur whenever I look at him. And no matter if he's laughing or crying over those books he likes to curl up with, his eyes always make me feel as if I'm looking into another world. A world I won't ever know enough about because really, to be honest, Arthur is a strange person and I'm willing to admit that. It doesn't make me any less in love with him.

Sometimes I like to tell him I love his eyes and the different shades of green that make them up. I can't kiss his eyeball dead on so I kiss around it, kiss to the eyelid, flutter my eyelashes against freckled cheeks, press my chapped lips to lily white skin and breathe and just… god…

God his eyes are gorgeous. The very first time I met Arthur I said "Green," and he looked at me all funny like and then realized what I was commenting on. So he said, "Blue." And others might say this was an awkward exchange but they don't understand that it's how Arthur and I work together. Who needs a million flowery words when you have blue and green and they worked so well when they're staring into one another, and when they're holding one another.

I love

Arthur.

I love holding Arthur and telling him how I fell. I love that right now he's curled up in my arms and sleeping and even if his green eyes aren't on me now I know that haven't gone away. I grin to think they won't go away for a long, long time.

My green eyes.

My Arthur.

**Strangers Like Me – Phil Collins **

"Alfred? Alfred are you even listening? I'm teaching you this all right and you need to have it down properly before the ceremony tonight. You understand that my father does not tolerate mistakes or failure and if you mess up well then… not even I can protect you. It took enough arguing to let him allow you to stay here, which I'm quite grateful you do realize. I am… grateful for you being here. You've taught me more than silly teachers ever could and you've been there for me. I was so lonely- not that I don't enjoy reading my books…"  
Alfred watched Arthur ramble on and just smiled at him. He was the most adorable person Alfred had ever met and he had the best accent to listen to. Alfred liked to watch him, and sometimes he wouldn't pay attention to what he was saying just because his actions were so much more entertaining. He was the best.

"Alfred?" Arthur lightly smacked Alfred on the head. "You haven't heard a word I've said, have you?"  
Alfred just gave him that shit-eating grin he knew Arthur hated.

"Alfred!" His distress was even cute. "You have to know proper manners; this is important! I can't show you off at the dinner if you don't even know a proper greeting-"

"Arthur, babe, relax. I've got it covered. I'll just blow everyone away with my charm."  
"Do you think you're charm can get you through anything? These people can be worse than my father and do you really want me having to be at the dinner alone?" He lowered his voice. "Francis will be there…"

Alfred's grin faded into a frown, displeased.

"He's not getting anywhere near you. I'm going to be there with you. Arthur trust me," Alfred begged, putting his hands on Arthur's upper arms. "Now explain this all to me again," Alfred said. "I promise I won't embarrass you or your father tonight. You'll see."

Arthur frowned but leaned forward and pecked Alfred on the lips quickly. "Thank you Alfred. Thank you…"

**Falling In - Lifehouse **

"I don't know why he's so afraid," Arthur sighed, patting Peter on the head as he stood up from the bed. "It's just… love… can't he see that?" Arthur looked hurt and Peter clambered over to him.

"He'll come around to it soon enough, 'rthur, just believe it." Peter smiled and threw his arms around Arthur, giggling.

Arthur put smiled but it didn't meet his eyes. "Perhaps you're right… I won't be giving up anytime soon though. Come on now then, you best be getting into bed," he murmured.

Peter let go and crawled back under the covers, settling down. "Night love," Arthur said.

"Night," Peter grinned and Arthur turned off the lights.

"Alfred don't you dare walk away from me." Arthur stomped after him. He could see Alfred's eyes glancing warily around.

"Off me Arthur, someone might see."  
"_No one is here_, Alfred. We are literally in the middle of the woods. We are in the middle of the woods because you're so scared of someone seeing us that you can't even talk to me in public. Seriously Alfred?" Arthur cut Alfred off from walking any further, putting a hand to his chest. Alfred stepped away from Alfred's hand and Arthur looked up at him, hurt. "Do I disgust you that much? Is it that- that you loathe me that when the only possible audience we have are some bloody woodland creatures you still can't even come near me? _I love you_, I love you bloody git but you hurt me so much. I thought… I thought telling you, I thought showing you that loving someone isn't a bad thing that you would change your mind. But I see now that I was wrong. Someone like you won't change, no matter how much I love you."

He pushed past Alfred, leaving him standing there, and starting back on the path out of the woods. Enough was enough. It didn't mean he hadn't given up on Alfred, but it meant that he needed space. He was busy trying not to trip when his got blurry and he refused to cry, then suddenly felt a hand spinning him around.

"Arthur wait-"

"No! Let me-"

Alfred pulled him flat against him, arms around him tightly, and kissed him. "You're right, I shouldn't care. I love you. I shouldn't- I was afraid… falling in love with you… it's scary… But I love you. I can't deny that. And… if you still want me, then I'm here. I'm here when we are out here, and I'm here when we're in the middle of Times Square." And then he kissed him again.

**Why Don't We Just Dance? – Josh Turner: Mature Content **

"Baby," Alfred grinned, nibbling on Arthur's bottom lip and sliding his hand lower, the other keeping him up.

Arthur gasped, bowing up from the couch towards him. "When… you asked me to dance… I-ah… actually thought we would dance…" He groaned impatiently as Alfred teased the area around his hips and thighs, avoiding his member on purpose. "Alfred- please…"

Alfred moved his lips away to smile down at Arthur, then took the Brit's length in his hand. He began stroking it languidly, enjoying the way Arthur bit his lip and those green eyes rolled back in pleasure. "We are dancing, Artie, 's just a different style."

Arthur reached up and pulled Alfred down to nip and place wet kisses down a tan neck.

"Baby," Alfred groaned, tilting his neck up to allow Arthur more access. "Yeah…. Mmmn…" He stroked Arthur a bit faster now, thumb slipping into the tip to tease it. He heard Arthur moan in response.

Arthur scraped his fingers across Alfred's shoulders, tense from a long day, from holding himself up. He massaged there, feeling Alfred relax towards him.

"Hm, a different style?" he asked, smirking up at Alfred as he pulled his lips away. "Well then let's dance away."

**Somebody's Me – Enrique Iglesias **

_Dear Arthur_,

_I can't stand being without you. It's lame, I know it. You would tell me so if you were here right now but there's obvious reasons you're not. You can't stand me, I get that. I can't stand that about myself either. _

_I don't sleep in the bed anymore. It smells too much like books and they smell too much like you. I sleep in the tub because it's colder and harder and I think I deserve it more. It makes me uncomfortable and sometimes I wake up and my legs are asleep._

_I'm falling apart. I know I shouldn't be making this about me. It's about you. I want to apologize to you. I want you to know just how sorry I am but I understand and I respect that you don't want to talk to me right now, or even see my face. _

_You… you should be mad at me. You should want the worse for me right now. If you want to burn this letter without reading it, that's all right with me. But if you do read this then know that I am, a hundred times so sorry._

_It's hard to be without you. It's hard to go to sleep because my dreams are all of you. I love you Arthur. I love you and I have loved you and I… I can't write down love because it's not enough. _

_I'm not asking you love me in return, even ever again. I just want you… to one day forgive me for what I've done to you. _

_Love,_

_Alfred_

**Goodnight Moon – Go Radio **

"You're beautiful."

"Go look at your eyes, Alfred," Arthur shot him down, descending a staircase.

"Juliet cannot compare," Alfred offered.

"Romeo, you're cheesy," Arthur rolled his eyes. He used the railing to keep from falling and found Alfred's hand offered to him when he made it to the bottom step, eye-level with Alfred.

Alfred smiled, Arthur raised an eyebrow.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Hm?"

"You're giving me the strangest look right now and I… can't…"

Alfred leaned in and pressed a kiss to the corner of Arthur's mouth, then trailed his lips from his jawline to his cheekbone.

"You're beautiful," Alfred repeated. "I'm falling in love with you all over again. And you know what's in my heart right now?"  
"Are you drunk?" Arthur asked, sniffing to test.

"Your name," Alfred smiled. "And maybe. Looking at you makes me not-so-sober. You have that sort of effect on people, babe."

"And by people you mean you."

"Well, I like to think only me but I can't really stop others from looking at you." Alfred looked upset, and wrapped his arms around Arthur's waist.

"Are you ready to go to that dance?" Arthur asked.

"Hmm… no. I would rather carry you back up this staircase, throw you on the bed, and pulled off that suit that makes your hips so slim and perfect and god it'd be nice to ravish you right now."

Arthur eyed him for a moment. He grabbed Alfred's tie and yanked him close. "How much did you want to go to that dance?" Arthur murmured against his lips.

"When you put it that way, babe, not at all."

**I Kissed a Girl – Katy Perry**

Well what was he supposed to do when they shoved him in the closet with a beautiful guy with large green eyes, dark lashes, speckled freckles, and fair blonde hair? What was he supposed to do when it was awkward and they whispered to one another that they didn't have to do this? This was a silly game teenagers played and to mix it up with truth or dare was a stupid idea. Why had that girl suggested putting them together? Was that a fun idea?

But how the hell could he have resisted? The boy he'd been crushing on since the first day of fourth grade was here with him. That beautiful, beautiful boy with the accent the girls liked to comment on- the one who smelled like the binding of a book…

He'd shivered when he'd leaned in. When Arthur had neither pushed nor refused him he found his lips on Arthur's and he'd never kissed a boy before but even if they might have called it an experiment after getting out of closet and laughed it off as a joke and kept it to themselves, Alfred knew he would never want to kiss another person's lip ever again.

**Turn Me On – David Guetta (Nicki Minaj): Mature Content**

"Alfred!"

Arthur fell forward, elbows hitting the bed. He buried his face into his hands and moaned, finding himself panting under Alfred. Hands buried into his sides, groping and touching him. He felt wonderfully hot and rocked his hips back sensually against Alfred.

"Mmmn yeah nn… ah…" Alfred held him and thrusted into Arthur, groans slipping out of his mouth. "Baby… you're so good yeah…"  
He ponded in once forcefully, striking that spot and hearing Arthur practically scream.

"Say my name," Alfred growled, licking his lips. He watched the way sweat rolled down the nape of Arthur's pale neck, and leaned down to bit and suck there, wanting to mark it up.

"Alfred… ah Alfred…!" Arthur complied, feeling that tightness in his balls and knowing he was close. "I-I ahh…" He squeezed his eyes shut and made a sudden groan when Alfred his hit spot.

"Alfred! Touch me! Love you, mmn don't stop!"


	7. Chapter 7

_I have to warn everyone that this chapter is very different from my others. ALL stories in this set of 11 are depressing, involving sadness, depression, mental illness, character death, affairs, drugs, some blood, abuse reference. If you don't want to read these things then don't do so, I don't mind. I'm feeling really upset and so this whole set is me getting out some negative feelings. There's harsh language, and very very vague sexual content (like really none at all). _

_In the next chapter, I am considering taking these same songs but writing them in a happier fashion. I don't know if I will actually do this. I'm sorry if this sort of story style isn't your thing. _

_Um... I don't believe there's anything else I need to warn you of.  
Here you are._

* * *

**Thinking of You - Katy Perry**

Arthur pulled out the envelope for the 73rd time and opened it from the jagged tear. He read what it wrote as if this time the words would have altogether been replaced with happier ones, hopeful ones, ones that did not make him put the letter back into the envelope and draw further and further into himself.

_If only I could fold myself into an envelope._

He felt a hand come to his shoulder and looked to see Francis take a drag of his cigarette. "Come back to bed," Francis said, a lack of emotion to his features.

Arthur shook his head.

"You have to sleep."  
Arthur did not move.

The hand left his shoulder, the smoke dissipated from the air, and Arthur felt vile. He ran to the bathroom to puke, feeling a shudder pass through him as he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. Vomit dropping from his chin, eyes stained red, deep bags like black eyes crowding his features.

He wondered if he stared long enough would he forget that the love of his life was dead? Would he forget those eyes, and the scent of summer that followed him? Would he stop thinking of him?

He wondered if he stared long enough would Alfred would come back to him? Would he bust down the door and return to his side?

This time to stay.

**Thunder - Boys Like Girls**

"Arthur it's over."

Arthur's head turned so quickly he winced when he hurt his next and choked on his words.

Before he could speak Alfred stood up too quickly, and paced away from him. "I can't be here any longer! OK?" He shoved his arms into the sleeves of his jacket, not looking at Arthur. "It's been great... This summer... you know? But I'm leaving."

"Wait!" Arthur stood up to stop him, arms reaching out like a child to his mother. "Don't go. Alfred. Don't go." He felt as if he were trying to strike a deal but the trade wasn't fair. What could he even say to keep Alfred?

"It was cool... But you were just a thing..." Alfred shrugged a bit and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Just... a thing?"  
"Yeah... Anyway... don't take it too hard, all right? You knew it wouldn't work out- us, right? I mean, graduation's coming up and we'll be going our separate ways. I figure we should just admit to ourselves that we don't work together. So... yeah..."  
"You..." Arthur's breaths came too quickly in a hyperventilating way. He fell back, weak knees leaning against a chair. The room spun. "You don't love me?" No! That wasn't what he wanted to say. There was so much more... he couldn't focus.

Alfred looked at him, and for a moment Arthur thought he would come back to him, comfort him by pulling him into an embrace, tell him to take slower breaths and that they would talk about this, they would talk about them. There was... no way this was ending like this. Too quick. Too quick. Too qu-

The door clicked shut and Alfred was gone.

**Such Great Heights - Iron & Wine**

Alfred heard the tone to the phone. "H-hey Artie-Arthur, yeah sorry I'm calling again. I have this new song, I wanted you... to be the first... to hear it. Yeah... shit sorry... You didn't answer my last call but... maybe, if you have any comments on this... You can call. If you want." The beep to end the message cut Alfred off and he cursed, looking down at the guitar in his lap.

"Arthur! Hey! It's me again... The phone, your message thing, yeah it cut me off. So short, right? Ha... so... Did you change your number? Or something? I haven't heard from you. It's been a while... So right! The song, right... I better get this going before I get cut off again. Just remember to tell me what you think, it's fine if you don't like it I d-" Alfred threw his pick down, cursing himself for fucking this up.

"So... sending you a song over message is stupid I know... right? Does your message box work? Are you getting any of these? Why haven't you answered any of my calls...? I don't want to press but it's been a few weeks and... Are you mad? Arthur? Arthur is that you?"

"Hey... I'm sorry for leaving all those messages. This is my last one I promise... I know you called and told me to stop... talking to you... I-I can't do that Artie you're... you're the only one I got... Please... Please talk to me again. I'll fix it. I'll fix whatever I did wrong, please... believe me I'm gonna make this right."

"Arthur please."

**Little Sister - Jewel**

"Arthur I don't have time for you right now... This isn't... You shouldn't be here."

Arthur stuck his foot in the door and pushed forward before Alfred could shut him out. "I can help, Alfred, please... What's going on? Where have you been?"

Arthur heard the sound of puking from inside and saw Alfred tense up, trying to pry Arthur away so he could close the door. "I told you not. right. now." Alfred gritted, teeth gnashing against one another in a damaging way to both his bones and to Arthur's senses.

"Tell me... Is... is it Matthew, again...? Has he been...?"  
"That's NONE of your business, goddamit Arthur! It's your fault he's into that shit in the first place. I should have never introduced the two of you, I should have never met you! It's because of you my brother's like this and the only way I can help him is to get you as far away as possible-"  
"Alfred please-"

"NOW GO."

Arthur was physically shoved back, falling down the two steps and watched Alfred slam the door shut with a sound close to a heart breaking.

**Give Me Novacaine - Green Day**

"Is Arthur here?"

Eyes, dark and lined looked to the blonde jock, eyeing him in a way that clearly said they wanted him gone. "Yeah...?" One girl breathed, aiming a lazy thumb to Arthur.

Alfred pushed through a group of them, tripping over something and hearing snickering. He continued on, ignoring the rest until he found Arthur.

"Oh... my god..." He crouched next to him, reaching to make sure a pulse was still there and sighing in relief when he could pick it out. He scooped Arthur towards his chest, pulling his sluggish body up.

"Mm..."  
"Arthur... Arthur wake up..." He cradled his face and saw dark purplish and yellow bruises, a cut lip, swollen jaw... "Fuck... Arthur wake up... Wake up I'm here..."

Arthur's eyes leaked open, unfocused, glazed. He looked feverish and started laughing. "Alfred... you're here..."  
"Yeah, yeah Arthur I'm here... Shit... I'm getting you to a hospital. I'm getting you help... You can't keep doing this..."  
"Fuck you..." Arthur groaned. "Fuck you you're not in my life... anymore..."

Judging eyes fell on Alfred as he left the smoky basement. "I know... I'll be gone after I get you to a better place," Alfred said.

**This Is Your Time - Michael W. Smith**

"FUCK YOU!" Chair after chair from the classroom smashed against the chalkboard, broke the projector, the computer, the window. The wood splintered and broke and cracked and Arthur just kept hurling chair and chair. "FUCK YOU!"

"Arthur stop!" Matthew cried, rushing forward to grab him, hold him down and stop him from making another object his target.

"Arthur you have to stop!"  
"FUCK. YOU! YOU THINK YOU CAN DO THIS-"  
"Arthur please!"  
Matthew held him so close his knuckles were pale.

"YOU COULD HAVE SAID NO YOU BLOODY FUCKING BASTARD!"

Matthew started sobbing, fat tears falling on the two of them. Arthur was suddenly crying too, arms tearing at Matthew's hoodie, ripping or just stretching. He was wailing, the new emotion just as violent as the anger.

"Arthur... Arthur it's okay... It's okay..."  
Arthur wept into his shoulder, feeling hatred begin to burn in a sour way through him. He wanted to kill them. He wanted the shooters dead. He wanted to torture them, to look at the terror in their eyes before he ended their lives. And like that revenge he would never get, Matthew would never see his brother again, and he would also never see his Alfred again.

**Jolene - Dolly Parton**

The sheets were cold and stiff and Arthur lay awake listening to Alfred on the other side of the bed toss and turn and pull the blankets further off of him.

Alfred's sleep talk filled the room and the further Arthur curled up to try and drown out the words, the louder it seemed to grow. Alfred repeated her name, moaned her name. Her name filled his ears, and the sweet whispers of longing that followed.

He knew Alfred had not cheated, but he knew the more he dreamed the faster the relationship between them would come to the end. He was man, and not the beauty Alfred talked off and desired within him. And what a great pairing they would make... They could be seen hand in hand on the streets, she could provide him what Arthur was barren to.

No amount of tears that Arthur could cry into a pillow case, no amount of love Arthur could tell Alfred he held for him, it would not stop her from taking Alfred if she chose. If she asked, Alfred would go.

The sheets were cold and stiff and Arthur did not sleep for the rest of the night. And many nights after that.

**Misery - Maroon 5**

"Arthur...?"  
Arthur sat up slowly, knowing it was too late to act surprise. He pushed at Francis who lay in the bed next to him, bare skin apparent.  
"Alfred's here..." he muttered.

Alfred looked shocked to a point he looked as if he were close to passing out.

"Get out of the bed you fucking frog face," Arthur said, shoving Francis who sat up then saw Alfred. He looked surprised then ashamed and grabbed at his clothing on the floor, running into the bathroom across the hall.

Alfred looked at Arthur.

"You..."  
Arthur looked away, not showing what he was feeling easily.

"Yes... This happens all the time Alfred..." He got up and slipped into his clothing, slowly and without a sense of guilt. As if what he'd done wasn't wrong at all. "I'll go," he said, not looking at Alfred.

The misery settled in like a stone to the bottom of a lake. But it hurt so much more because Alfred couldn't drown on land, could only flounder and watch Arthur brush past him for the kitchen. He had to stand there until the door opened and closed, until Francis was gone, until he could show what he felt on the inside on the outside too.

**Someone's Crying - The Crimea**

Alfred looked at Arthur when he set down the book he'd been pouring into. He watched slender hands reach for a glass just to shakily drop it, clashing water and blood as he cut his finger trying to stop it. Alfred stepped forward then stopped himself. "Arthur..."

"Bloody hell... Bloody... hell..." Arthur suddenly fell forward, knees digging and scraping, blood swirling out into the water.

Now salt was added to the mix and Alfred came to stand in front of his lover as he wept. He crouched, hand extending so hesitantly to his face. But then stopped himself in his tracks and pulled his hand back.

"You... I hate you... I hate you," Arthur sobbed.

"I know, Artie... I hate me too... Let's get this glass cleaned up... C'mon Artie... get out..."  
Arthur fell down more, purposely digging his elbows into the glass to scrape and bloody himself up more.

"I hate you! I HATE YOU!" he heaved, burying his face in his hands.

"Arthur stop! P-Please..." Alfred felt himself cry too. Surprised at this, he reached up to wipe away tears that didn't stop. He felt like opened skin.

"You left me!"  
Alfred reached to grab Arthur. Now. His hand slipped right through Arthur's shoulder, and he watched him shiver. He slid up and turned, running from the room, running through the wall like magic, running away.

"I hate you!"

**I'm Not Crazy - Matchbox 20**

"I'm not crazy," Alfred said softly, looking at his thumbs.

"I'm sorry..." Arthur murmured. "I didn't mean that-"  
"I know you didn't," Alfred shrugged, still looking at his thumbs.

Silence fell between them like snow.

"I'm lonely... without you," Arthur offered, wondering if he was being insensitive.

"I am too," Alfred jerked back, wondering if he was being too harsh.

"I made scones, I brought some..." He lifted a basket as if to prove he really had.

"You always brings scones." Arthur looked at the flowers on the bedside table while Alfred looked at his thumbs.

"Did you go out today? The weather's nice."  
"No... It's too sunny."  
"You like the sun."  
"I used to like the sun."

"I think you could use some still, though, I-"  
"Shut up about the damn sun."

"I'm sorry."  
"I'm not crazy."  
"I didn't say that," Arthur bit his lip, shifting to stand up. "I should go..."  
"Don't- no... sorry... You can... Maybe I'll be better tomorrow," Alfred said, looking at his thumbs.

"Goodbye... Alfred..."  
"Bye."

Arthur left, neither of them looking at one another.

**Falling Out of Love - Aqualung**

The sun creeped up and Alfred felt his lungs compress, smothering himself into the carpet with a hangover that made his thoughts muddled. He let his tired mind drift to a conversation from the night before.

_"We're not in high school anymore, Alfred."_

_"No, we're not."_  
_"This is foolish... It's ridiculous. We can't do this anymore. You know that."_

_"So that's it? That's all?"_  
_"Wait where are you going?"_  
_"I ain't listening to anymore of this bullshit. Sit down, Arthur. Don't follow me."_  
_"You're overreacting! You won't tell me what I will and won't do."_

_"Leave me alone. You want to end this, right? So I'm ending it. There. We're done. That's good. I'm glad we got together today. You probably could have just called to save yourself the trip!. It's been great that it's been over two months and I haven't seen you. I guess now I won't have to wait around anymore. Perfect. Thanks. You've really saved me a lot of trouble. I've really hated all that jet lag anyway. Fuck you, Arthur."_  
_"Alfred you're acting like a child-"_

_"I'M NOT A CHILD ANYMORE. Don't you understand? We're NOT in highschool, I'm not in high school. Fuck you."_

_"Can we... please sit... talk..."_  
_"There's nothing to talk about. You've got nothing to say that I want to hear."_

The sun split through his eyelids and skull and threatening to crack him open like an egg. He would be a mess all over the floor and he hoped Arthur would have to be the one to clean it all up.


	8. Chapter 8

_Some stuff... Haha... These weren't that great but none of them are sad so that's a bonus. : ) _

* * *

**The First Day of My Life - Bright Eyes**

"This is..."

"Strawberries," Alfred murmured, poking a finger into the whip cream.

"They're warm, and... in sauce?"

"You put them on the pancakes," Alfred grinned, just warming the already sun-cooked room. Noon skies rolled by the window and Arthur sleepily lay on his side, a tray of food in front of him. Alfred lay on the other side, both of them watching each other with slow eyelashes and too quick of smiles.

"You were up before me..." Arthur whispered, laughing lightly.

Alfred rolled his eyes. "It happens sometimes..."  
"... should I... get used to it?"  
"Nah... but, get used to... things..." Alfred stole a bite from Arthur's fork, meeting soft protests.

"Things is very... specific," he mocked with white teeth and strawberry lips.

"Things like me, babe... Get used to having me."

**Ho Hey - Lennon & Maisy (Cover)**

"Hey, babe."  
"Darling."  
"Dearest."

"Love."

"Honey."  
"Middle-aged woman," Arthur replied, setting his book down on Alfred's head, watching him balance it to keep it from falling. He tilted forward and dropped it into his readied hands. "This book again?"

"This book always, poppet."

"Sugar."

"Middle-aged woman," Arthur said again.

"Well... then... how should I say you belong with me?" Alfred asked, pulling Arthur onto the couch next to him. "Sweetheart?"  
"I suppose that'll do."

**Love Me Do - The Beatles**

"One date?"

"No date."

"Just dinner... okay no dinner movie? Ice cream only? Please?"

"No date."

Alfred walked in front of Arthur to stop him, putting a finger to his lips to stop him from talking. He leaned in somewhat. "What you got against me? Wait... don't answer that. Hear me out, kay?" He put his finger down, hesitating. "You know... how I feel... I ain't gonna be like your ex..." He put on his kicked puppy expression and Arthur sighed.

"One date."  
"One date?"

"Only ice cream."  
"Ice cream after a movie?"  
"I pick the movie."  
"Deal."

Alfred grinned and kissed Arthur's cheek. "I love you Artie."

**Roll to Me - Del Amitri**

Arthur's eyes widened even more after first witnessing Alfred take to the stage and no no no no don't take the mic, shit, he took it. Arthur's first panic told him to bolt but a crowd blocked his path to exit, to salvation-

"This one's for you..." Alfred grinned, eyes pinned on Arthur and pretty soon everyone else's eyes were too. It wasn't healthy on his heart. He was too caught up on the dorkiness of his boyfriend, and sweet acts didn't help. Alfred being Alfred didn't help.

Alfred began the song before Arthur had time to reddened to the color of a tomato, but by the end of it he was pretty sure they had to wheel him out on a stretcher. Which, was how he usually ended up after being with Alfred too much. In the end, he supposed he really would "roll to him".

**Fine By Me - Andy Grammar**

Arthur wasn't known for being in steady, healthy relationships. He wasn't really known for his relationships actually at all. But after coming to despise the most loved jock in all the school, getting stuck with him on some bullocks project, and then spending evenings after work making out in that stupid pick-up truck Arthur knew that this was different.

Every piece of Alfred made him so annoyed. Every piece of Alfred made Arthur so annoyed with himself at how much he hoped Alfred would never leave. He'd never been that kid, that romantic. But he guessed when you found someone like Alfred, who you could lay by without speaking a world and feel like the happiest person in the world, you never wanted to let them go.

Keeping these feelings from Alfred would be best, most likely. He would keep them forever, if it meant he could stay with and love Alfred a little longer.

**Not While I'm Around - Josh Groban (Cover)**

"Alfred those creatures aren't real... hush love..."

The 19 year old football quarterback with a charming smile and the knack for making all the girls swoon when he walked on by, and the ability to make all the guys jealous, and the most tormenting power of making Arthur come running to his side and drop everything he was doing at the ring of a phone, was now quite possibly the cutest but dorkiest boy in all the world. He was clinging into Arthur's waist, chest, tough arms locking on and shaking. Visibly trembling.

Arthur twisted to hold him, soothing him, pulling him nearer, reassuring and comforting him with words and love. "I'm right here... Hush... It'll be all right. I'll be by your side... I won't let anything happen to you... Those monsters aren't real Alfred... they can't get you. Not while I'm around."

**Near You Always - Jewel**

"Artie... did I... do something wrong?"

Arthur flinched. Shit, he done so well to avoid Alfred. His heart began speeding when he forced himself to turn around.

Alfred caught his wrist, thinking he was going to try and make a run for it.

Arthur's face flushed only to find Alfred coming nearer and he tried to escape but it was too late.

"I got you those flowers... you got those right? Artie... why aren't you saying anything?"  
Sweet breath ghosted on Arthur's lips and he nearly squeaked out. "You... you're... suffocating me..." he gasped, hand coming up to his chest as if his heart might melt out the pores of his skin. Or... would have, if Alfred wasn't holding onto it so dearly and lovingly in this folds of his lips and teeth and when he smiled Arthur didn't want to move from his line of sight ever.

Alfred let go of his wrist. "S...suffocating you?"

"Too much... I'm feeling too much..." Arthur muttered, blush rolling along his cheeks.

Alfred seemed to process this and then began smiling.

"I'm suffocating you?" he smirked, and that was when Arthur realized he was doomed. "How about I suffocate you a little more?" He then finished the distance between the and captured Arthur's lips with his.

**My Life Would Suck Without You - Kelly Clarkson**

"I didn't mean... what I said..."  
Feet shuffled in the doorway and Arthur refused to look anywhere but at his feet. He had chocolates and a hamburger and assorted other gifts hoping that Alfred wouldn't send him away but if he did he would understand-

Suddenly Arthur was pulled into a bone crushing hug and he choked, dropping everything and hoping for a moment Alfred wouldn't step on the hamburger.

"Artie..." Alfred breathed, holding him close.

"Alfred... I didn't-"  
"I know... I'm so glad... I thought you weren't going to talk to me... I... I didn't know what to do..."

"I'm sorry Alfred," Arthur apologized, ready to do so many more times.

"It's okay... We fight... it happens. It's going to happen again, but... if it does I'm not going to let you go. Never..."

"I wouldn't leave you Alfred... not for good," Arthur murmured, finally getting released. He looked up at him, trying not to cry because it was his fault that things were like this. Alfred really was too great to be his.

"Good Artie... 'cause... my life would suck without you."

**Stuck on You - Elvis Presley**

"Grillllllllllllll!"

Alfred charged by him, ocean blue apron flapping around his jeans. Arthur watched him fly out onto the back porch, flat flipping utensil in hand to get to the ready to burn burgers.

"Cheese Artie?"

"No thank you!"

Arthur heard whistling start up as he tossed the salad he was preparing.

It was Alfred idea to have a party and invite half the neighborhood but maybe it was his socialness that Arthur liked. Or maybe it was the way he looked in an apron. Although, there were a lot of other things he liked about Alfred. He smiled, maybe he would thank him later.

**Lay All Your Love On Me - Mamma Mia**

Alfred growled and pulled Arthur towards him, gently though. He kissed along the side of his neck, jawline, that slight dip to the corner of his mouth. "I hate this," he growled, kissing Arthur hungrily. He slipped his hands around to the small of Arthur's back, gently rubbing there despite the intensity he seemed to be radiating. Arthur was pleasantly confused.  
"What... nnn... did I do?"

"Not you. Him."  
"Him? Mm... oh... oh..."

Alfred nipped his lips. "Don't oh me," he snapped, cupping Arthur's face now. He pushed him against a wall and kissed him until they were both out of breath and panting against one another.

"No one else," he said lowly.

"Of course not..." Arthur breathed out, tangling his fingers to Alfred's hair. "Now kiss me again," he demanded.

Alfred complied, kissing him, mind blown at how overworked being with Arthur made him. Overwhelmed at how possessive he grew around Arthur, how insane he grew to be. It was crazy how much he loved Arthur, especially when he was around Arthur.

He moved back to his neck and marked it, licking and sucking his way down to the junction near the collarbone. "I love you..." he growled. "I love you..."

**Trouble - Nevershoutnever**

"Mattie... is it possible to be addicted to a person?" Alfred asked. "I'm totally in love with him I feel like... like an idiot! I'm pretty sure I fall whenever he's around and do a lot of other countless embarrassing stupid things but the problem is I keep going back. I keep going back to talk to him even after making a fool of myself. I think it's an addiction... I call him all the time even when I know he's got homework and wants me to hang out but he's too nice to say it."  
Matthew raised his eyebrows. "Alfred... while I know this is important to you... I do have to say... you do realize that he's standing... right behind you?"

"Fuck I'm in trouble..."


End file.
